I’m not a confident person.
At first I wasn’t. I was that shy reserved lady who was self-conscious. I had this feeling of uncertainty about myself. I thought I hadn’t much to offer to the world.
No one will listen to me, no one will read my post if I share my thoughts online, and no one will follow my blog.
These feelings flawed my mind.
It brought my self-confidence to zero level. I didn’t believe in myself. And I wasn’t sure about my abilities.
But I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be seen.
And for me to be seen, I need to believe in myself and my abilities.
It was a journey and today, I’ve gotten my self-confidence back.
So if you are struggling with self-confidence like I did, this post will show you how to build your self-confidence.
For a start, let me explain what self-confidence is.
Self-confidence is a belief in yourself. It is trusting in your abilities to do something or be successful. And if you are someone that wants to fulfill your dreams, be seen or heard, you must have self-confidence. Because a lack of it will hold you back.
So, let’s delve into how you can build your self confidence.
- Change your thought process
Thoughts they say, are ancestors of deed. Our thought patterns affects almost every area of our lives. What we do and do not do .Thomas Edison said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right. “ As self-confidence is a state of mind, when you are doubtful of yourself and your abilities, it will stop you from taking any meaningful action. This is because those negative thoughts are about what you think you can’t do or what you don’t have.
The battle to live your dreams is won or lost in your mind. Negative thoughts are limiting forces to building your self-confidence. While you can’t stop negative thoughts from passing through your mind, you can stop the thoughts from building a castle in your mind. You can let go of negative thoughts and change your thought pattern by feeding your mind with positive thoughts and information. These positive thoughts will in turn show in your personality. And from there, your self-confidence is increased.
Start believing in yourself. Whenever you find yourself thinking, “I don’t have what it takes to perform this task,” quickly replace it with, “I have what it takes to perform this task.”
Stop thinking about your weakness and start looking to your strength.
- Face your fears
Fear comes from the thought that you are inadequate, and you are about to let the world see it when you step out.
When I was about to start out on my blog, fear surfaced from nowhere.
“Fear of if people will read, let alone follow my blog.” “Fear of I’m not good and knowledgeable enough.”
The fear was there. But I pushed through the fear because I had a dream and desire to be heard. To share and inspire.My dream was greater than the fear.
Fear will always show up when you are about to take a step or major decision meant to propel you forward.
Fear of failure. Fear of criticism. Fear of rejection.
It all starts by whispering negative thoughts into your mind.
“You can’t take up that position. You are not qualified for it.”
“How can you start a blog when your writing sucks?”
“No one will buy from you.”
These crippling thoughts robs us of our self-confidence. Because we’ll no longer see ourselves as being able to take the action.
The first step to facing your fear and overcoming it is, the awareness of the havoc fear causes. That, fear will always stop you from doing anything meaningful.
The second step is to arrest the fear. Fear is imagined. When your mind starts conjuring up those thoughts of inadequacy and not been good enough, stop the thought there on its track. Stopping the fear is done through affirmation. Speak positively to yourself. Tell yourself you can do it.
Again, a psychology study has shown that when fear starts building up, the muscles begin to tighten. To help you stop fear, identify those muscles that tighten up when you feel anxious or afraid, and try to relax them.
Be confident in yourself to know that failure, criticism, and rejection doesn’t define you. Let your dreams be bigger than your fear of failure, criticism, and rejection.
Life is about risk. So, take the risk to do what you’ve always wanted to do. Just like Nike says, “Just do it.” And watch your self confidence soar
- Increase your knowledge
Knowledge is a confidence builder any day. As a student, do you remember when you were about to write an exam, how you studied in readiness for the exam? On the exam day, do you remember how you felt having read and prepared?
You felt confident. Because you have read and prepared for the exam. If you hadn’t prepared for that exam, you wouldn’t be confident enough to write the exam.
If you lack knowledge, it will affect your self-confidence.
To increase your knowledge, embrace learning. Always be prepared for any given task ahead of time. Do you have a presentation to give? Prepare ahead of time to enable you get conversant with it.
Are you lacking a skill set in your chosen field or career? Go get the required skill to update your portfolio.
Read books to increase your knowledge base.
- Appreciate where you are now
Most of the time, focusing on what you don’t have now or what’s not working in your life can deplete your self-confidence.
Everyone is at different stages of their journey in life. The people who you see now as having achieved something for themselves, were once dealing with lack of confidence issue. But they went through the process and pulled through.
Appreciate where you are at the moment. Know yourself and seek ways to grow yourself.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Focus on your strength instead of weakness. Realize that you are strong and also capable of pulling through to boost your confidence .You’ll get there.
Sociable people never lack self-confidence as they are always mixing and interacting with people. If you want to build your self-confidence, learn to socialize with people. If you are the type that waits for people to walk up to you to exchange pleasantries, don’t wait any longer. Instead turn the tables. Be the one to go walk up to greet them. You should also try to be the first person to start up a conversation.
Been social can start from your family members and close friends. Join them to participate in activities they are having .Also, you can attend social events with them to help you leave your comfort zone
Developing new friendships can also help to build your self-confidence. I’m not saying you should go and become friends with Tom, Dick and Harry. What I mean is quality relationships that will encourage and support you, helping you boost your self-confidence.
Summing It Up
I know building your self-confidence can’t be achieved in a day. It’s a journey, until you become self-confident. Be ready to go through the process.
You need to be committed to your desire to build your self-confidence. You also need to implement all points listed here. For without execution, you can’t build your self-confidence.
The world is waiting for you. Go and build your self confidence.
Do you have other ways to build your self confidence,do let me know in the comment section.And share this post if you find it helpful.